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I had a wonderful talk with Beth the other night. I haven’t talked to her in so long, and I didn’t realize how much I’ve missed her. We were talking about lack of blogging, and we were both bemoaning the silence on our blogs recently. I think (and Beth agreed) it’s largely due to the fact that I don’t always get a chance to blog when it’s on my mind. I write so, so many blog posts in my head, but they somehow never seem to be transferred to the computer. Or, I start a lot of posts and don’t get a chance to finish them… and when I come back, I’m not in the same mood/mindset.

So I apologize, and hopefully I can come up with some way to keep regularly blogging.

To fill you in on a few life updates…

We went to the doctor last Tuesday and the x-ray showed that Savannah’s leg is 100% healed. I am so relieved! I’m sure she is too. The doctor (a pediatric orthopedic surgeon) said that there is nothing physically wrong with Savannah; apparently some babies hate the sensation of putting weight on their feet. Physical therapy will help her overcome that, so I made an appointment for the evaluation on October 25th. I hope to make some good progress in this calendar year, as we have just about reached the max out-of-pocket expenses for Savannah’s health insurance for 2010.

On an unrelated note, there has been a big change for Paul at work. One of his coworkers left, and so Paul was given those responsibilities. He’s still in the same position technically, but he’s doing different things. This also came with a change in schedule – his hours are now flexible and he is working Monday-Friday. This has been very, very weird for us and to be honest we both really miss the old schedule! The flexible hours are nice – he’s still aiming to get to work around 7:30 just so he has a chance to get things done before everyone else comes in. But he misses working on Saturdays! He loved having a day that he could focus on getting work done without anyone around to pester him with other assignments. He also liked having a weekday off to take care of things like doctor’s appointments and the like. It’s been quite an adjustment on my part too.

Also, with the upcoming elections, he has been incredibly busy. He has been working 12-14 hours every day, sometimes not even seeing Savannah before she goes to bed at 9.

Meanwhile, I’ve been feeling lonely and rather down recently. I’m really stressed about finances – you can read my house blog to see why. Feeling frustrated about our house is causing me to not want to do any housework, and so I currently am sitting in a pig sty. I don’t feel much motivation to clean/cook with Paul coming home just to hop on the computer and continue working, or go straight to bed.

Anyways, Savannah is now up from her nap, so I need to go. Hopefully I will be able to get back on track with blogging – and more “real” posts. :-)

swagger wagon

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I was telling my brother-in-law how we are probably going to become a minivan family in the future, once we have more carseats than room in our current Corolla. He told me we should get a swagger wagon, and showed me this video which really cracked me up.

my mind always rambles in the dead of night

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Here I am, sitting here in the dead of night. Somehow life just keeps going, as summer finally fades into fall. The humidity has dropped, and it’s very pleasant to be outside. My daily walks with Savannah are no longer a chore but a pleasure. Life is weird lately; I almost don’t know what to make of it. For the first time, I didn’t have the time of my life this summer. Normally our days are filled with travel and activities and hiking. This summer, I stayed indoors – not only because of the heat but also the mosquitos. I stressed about money. No weddings this summer, and we only camped once. House and church keep us here this weekend, making spontaneous trips harder.

Other things, too. Savannah breaks her leg. Medical bills pile up and keep wanting our attention. I try to stay on top of paperwork – I have to file receipts with the insurance company – but I feel like I never get caught up. Utility bills come and get lost under piles of junk. I desperately want to declutter, but when I get a chance I’m suddenly lazy. I keep saying, tomorrow I’ll sit down and pay all the bills. Then I forget and get distracted, and then I stress about the money. Somehow through it all I forget that God will take care of us. I think my forgetfulness is probably because I have been lax about daily devotions.

I started checking into the Habit Hacker website every day. The content is good and exactly what I need, but the website is annoying. I was hoping to get a daily email but that’s not a feature. I’m trying to get into the habit of checking the website every day to see today’s habit.

She talks about having a place you clean twice a day. For her it’s the kitchen island. For me I decided it’s my kitchen sink. The last few days I’m trying to be better about staying on top of dishes. It’s satisfying, having a clean kitchen. To be honest, it makes me feel more confident that I can actually do housework. And cook!

I just yearn for some things in my life right now. For organization. For simplicity. For Savannah to be out of her cast and running around like a normal toddler. Oh how I yearn for the cast to be off! Next Tuesday, the 28th is the scheduled appoinment.

Other things are on my mind tonight, too. My pants are tight again and last week I stepped on a scale to discover I’m a mere 10lbs away from when I was 9 months pregnant. I am not sure the best and most effective way to approach weight loss this time. Weight Watchers again? Join a gym? Both expensive but I am wondering if ultimately it would be better for me.

Other thoughts on my mind: a mysterious rash in Savannah’s diaper area, most likely a food allergy. But what? The carpet in the den needs to be professionally cleaned, which bothers me since it’s only 3 months old. I am frustrated with my cats, the source of the carpet smell. Out of ideas for what to do. Paul is really, really busy at work. I miss him but I’m trying not to be annoying or a nag. Things will be better after the elections. Then come the holidays… Man this fall is already speeding past, but time with Savannah in her cast is simply crawling.

I need to get to bed. Enough late-night ramblings.

a little idle talk of this and that

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This is the third time I’ve sat down to write a blog post. Recently, I’ve felt a bit stuck in the mud. I seem to go from emotional extremes (ecstatic to down in the dumps), and a lot of the time I feel like I’m a robot just moving from one thing to the other. I don’t know how to explain it well, so hopefully you get what I mean.

I have this yearning to “go back”, but not sure what exactly I want to return to. I have this dissatisfaction and unsettledness that I think stems from the Internet. I notice that my better days are the ones where I am not online much. But it’s so addictive…!

But enough of that. I hope to get things figured out, and I hope that in the process I do not ignore my blog. :-) I really value this blog as a way of recording my life, for future reference. So for the time being, it’s important to me to keep at it. And hopefully soon I’ll figure out a way to return to writing meaningful posts.

So recently, I have been keeping busy with various activities. Savannah has had her cast on for a week now, and has two weeks left. (CanNOT come soon enough!) We had to go get a new cast today because the old one fell off. Apparently, that’s common with babies because of the baby fat. This new one goes much higher on her leg and now she can’t bend her knees. This makes it really difficult to get her in and out of her carseat, so I think we are going to turn her forward facing for the next two weeks just because I am scared of damaging her leg because it keeps bending weirdly.

Side note, we bought a big-girl carseat this week. *sniff* She’s growing up!

I mentioned a while ago that we attended a new church, and I keep meaning to write a follow-up post about it. We have decided to go ahead and commit to the new church. We like it a lot. I have spearheaded a nursery – right now each couple just takes turns watching the babies, since there are only 3 currently. We’re still working everything out but I think it’s a good thing. :-)

Our church is starting a sort of home fellowship group, targeting parents of babies/toddlers. I am excited for this. There are 6 couples right now. It’s nice to be in a group getting to know people on a deeper level. We are going to be reading “Shepherding a Child’s Heart“.

I can’t remember if I mentioned this, but the past month or two I returned one day a week to my old job to help them out with a big project. It was nice extra money. They asked me to come in more often, but I just couldn’t do that, so they ended up hiring someone else full-time. (They had too much work for one-day-a-week.) It was an interesting taste into what being a working mom would be like, and I am even more convinced it’s not for me. :-) It did remind me, though, how even if I’m not bringing money home, I can still add to our family’s income by working on ways to decrease expenses. We desperately need to do this more as we have more bills than income. (The good news – we are almost at the max out-of-pocket for Savannah’s health insurance! Hooray!) I am going to work on that more in the weeks to come… motivation is what I’m working on right now!

I should probably get to bed, so I will close with a few humorous spam comments. On my Dragon*Con post, a spammer left a comment mentioning, “it should be populous about Dragon*Con parade . thank you for sharing.”. On my post about housekeeping, I got a comment that said: “oh ,Housework, it too boring when you get a bad mood. how about flylady would be better. I think so.”

And my personal favorite, on my post about Savannah breaking her leg, the comment was: “she is so cute and not falling apart.”

(P.S. Bonus points to anyone who can tell me without the help of Google what the headline of this post is from.)

break a leg!

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The other day, I was doing laundry so I removed the baby gate from the top of the stairs that lead to our den. Savannah was taking a nap at the time, so I knew it would be okay. When she got up we went to the store, then when we got back we ate dinner… and I completely forgot about the gate. After dinner I had to clean up so I just put her in the living room and went about my tasks.

Next thing I knew, there were a few thumps and then a scream. Savannah had fallen down the stairs in to the den! I have never seen Paul move so fast, as the two of us bolted from where we were standing. He got to her first, and picked her up and comforted her. It took about an hour for the two of us to calm her down – she wouldn’t even nurse. I was concerned about how she was doing, so we kept her up an extra hour just to make sure she didn’t have a concussion or anything. The last hour, we let her scoot around the floor again (WITH the baby gate up!) and she seemed just fine.

The next day, she was definitely favoring her right leg. At Paul’s insistence, I took her to the pediatrician who told me that I needed to get an x-ray. This was Tuesday – I had a scheduled appointment with a pediatric orthopedic surgeon the next day (Wednesday) to figure out why Savannah won’t put weight on her feet. My pediatrician called the ortho to see if I could get in on Tuesday instead, and set up an appointment at the end of the day.

We waited at the ortho FOR-EV-ER but Savannah was pretty good, all things considered (not having napped at all and being in pain). I just had to be really careful not to bump her foot. I was still thinking it was a sprain, and hoping that this wouldn’t hurt our attempts to figure out if there was anything wrong with her hips and move forward with physical therapy. When we were finally called back, they took an x-ray and told me that Savannah had fractured her leg just above her ankle. Poor baby! :-( They also said that we have to wait for it to heal before we can work on her not-standing problem.

Savannah got a purple cast (I picked the color! :-)) and we have been adapted to this new reality. So far, nights have been the worst – with her fussing for hours in the middle of the night, and a refusal to nap during the day. I quickly discovered that Motrin is our best friend for the pain – Tylenol doesn’t seem to work as well. Also, she *hates* taking her medicine – it really takes 2 people, so it’s very difficult when Paul has already left for work. I have only needed to give her the Motrin at night and in the wee hours of the morning though. Daytime she seems to do a ton better. She is starting to get more brave about scootching around despite the huge cast on her leg. And she’s also learned it makes cool noises when you bang things against it, and also when you bang it against the ground. This morning she tested out kicking Mommy in the face with her cast. What fun!

Broken leg :-(

Her new purple cast

She gets it off on September 28th, and the orthopedic surgeon (who was SO nice!) is going to check her hips then. Best case scenario, nothing is “wrong” and we just move forward with physical therapy.

The good news is we’re really close to reaching our out-of-pocket max for Savannah! Hopefully we can get her physical therapy taken care of in 2010. This has *not* been our year, health-wise! I never realized a baby would be so expensive!