What a year!

Can’t believe school is ending. This is my last morning of silence… I have overall been really happy with my decision to send her to preschool. I think it’s been a great year, and it was fun to do the school thing for a change. :-) I think she liked it, too. I wish we could have gotten her into the 3 year old class, but the 2 1/2 wasn’t bad. (The 3 year old class was full when I enrolled her.)

I would have enrolled her again next year, but we just couldn’t swing it. So, I plan to homeschool her next year for Pre-K. This is going to be a test year for me… to see if I can be disciplined and organized enough for this homeschooling thing. It will be interesting!

It seems that I don’t have a “before” picture, boo. Well here is the closest I have:

One of the glass globes broke a while ago, so we took them all off.

First I collected my spray paint. I used stuff that I already had from a previous project. I ended up buying another can of the metallic spray.

It was pretty dirty, so I cleaned it with a damp rag.

I covered the light bulb sockets with painter’s tape so they wouldn’t get paint in them, and then I started with the primer. I don’t think this is always necessary, but since I already had the primer I decided to go for it.

After the first coat of the metallic spray. It’s somewhat of a charcoal gray – I really love this color.

Closeup, while waiting for it to dry.

I just love the metallic finish.

Once dry, I took off the painter’s tape and put the bulbs back in!

Hanging up! (Sorry for the not great picture – it was getting dark, and if I waited until tomorrow to take a picture I’d probably never get around to it!)

Here it is with the lights on.

I really like it! Definitely an improvement. I’m trying to take care of little projects around the house that will make it look nicer but not really cost money. I also majorly rearranged the living room, so once I get it clean then I’ll get some pictures of that. We’ve lived here almost 4 years and I’m just now feeling like hanging pictures on the wall, heh. :-) Our bedroom has had some major cleaning and it looks great! So maybe pictures of that next.

Hop on over and check out my most recent blog post, 12 Great Camping-Themed Books for Kids.

Also, I am hoping to incorporate guest posts on that blog, so if you’re interested please let me know.

The swimming however – not so much. Last week, she abruptly started crying about halfway through. I ended up getting her and we left early. We never figured out why she was crying.

Then today she started crying almost immediately. It’s so weird – she is very excited about swimming beforehand, and willingly goes to the pool and sits on the side, but then starts crying wanting to go home. The instructor suggested I not let her see me, so I sat in the shadows. I was not sure if she could see me and I didn’t want to run the risk, so I just peeked at her every so often. When I went to get her when she was done, the instructor said she did okay and that afterward he talked to her about next time.

Anyway I’m disappointed… I don’t know why she’s responding like this, and I wonder if it was too much to do both at once. Well now I know for next time. :-)

Next week I’m going to remember to wear appropriate footwear so I can get my workout in while she’s in swimming. :-)

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Since Caroline was born I have really been struggling. Mostly, lack of energy, both physically and mentally. I think it has manifested itself in depression – when life is so overwhelming that I can’t deal with it and just retreat into myself. I am so tired and I hate who I am right now. I feel like I am just surviving life – my goal each and every day has been to get myself through the day with my children’s basic needs met. If I eat that day, it’s only a bonus. This doesn’t seem like a way to live life. And not to compare myself to other moms, but I’ve been looking at my friends (both online and IRL) and I don’t think this is normal. Every mom has a bad day, but it doesn’t seem that it’s every single day. I have wondered if I was lazy, but I really truly felt it was more than that. I was in counseling for depression but while that seemed to answer a lot of questions, part of me didn’t think it was exactly it. I felt I was just floundering and so tired of trying to figure out what was wrong with me.

Over a year ago I was diagnosed with homozygous MTHFR C677T. At the time, I was only concerned about it affecting my ability to stay pregnant. Now that I’m not pregnant anymore, I somewhat forgot about it but have kept it in the back of my head, especially when I’d come across research about MTHFR and depression. Then a friend sent me this link:
http://www.easytolovebut.com/?p=2782

It’s long but a good read if you want to learn more about MTHFR. The parts that spoke the most to me were these:

The MTHFR gene sits at a critical point. If you have a glitch that keeps this gene from doing its job, the cogs on both sides of the picture are going to get mucked up. Instead of the light switch being on or off, it’s stuck in some sort of dimmer switch mode, functioning, but not nearly as well as it should be. The proper interaction of methylfolate and Methyl-B12 is what drives your body’s ability to fuel every cell in your body with energy…

While exact numbers are hard to verify, one mutation on C677T means you’re probably methylating (converting) folate into methylfolate at 40-60% efficiency. If you have two mutations, that number drops to approximately 10% efficiency. In my personal experience, this is a pretty big deal when it comes to dealing with anxiety and depression.

Suddenly, everything made sense. I wanted to cry. With relief, with exhaustion… No wonder I have no energy, my body is running at 10%! Of course, while that might be the explanation, that doesn’t mean there is a miracle pill. MTHFR is largely dismissed by the medical community. I am not anti-Western medicine at all, and I’m not a person who has distrust of medical doctors… but I felt really discouraged when my hematologist brushed me off. So I sent the article to my midwife and asked her if she’d help me figure out how to supplement to make up for the methylfolate that my body is incapable of processing. She has agreed and has been doing a lot of research on her own to learn more. Can I just say I love her for that? She is truly doing what I wish my other doctor had… coming alongside me to help me figure out a treatment plan for a mutation that doesn’t have a lot of research behind yet.

The plan right now is to supplement with methylfolate. We aren’t sure what the appropriate amount should be, so we are going to start with one amount and reevaluate in 2 months. I am also going to be taking supplements of magnesium, calcium, and omega-3. I was tested for vitamin D deficiency, and my level was at 13 (compared to the 50 recommended minimum level). So I’ll be supplementing for that as well.

I am hopefully going to be ordering all these supplements soon and start them. I really hope they help with my overall energy level and depression. Actually, I really think the depression stems from not having the energy to emotionally handle challenges. I am really looking forward to being myself again. I want to be a good mom. I don’t want to be supermom, I just want to be able to do simple things like go grocery shopping AND put the groceries away when I get home.

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I started the supplements around the beginning of April. I had to buy a huge pill organizer (4 compartments for each day) to keep them all straight. :-) I have noticed a difference already – not anything major, but just in my overall energy level. I went grocery shopping with both girls today – and put away all the groceries when we got home. I also made dinner. There is still so much more I need to be doing, but I really feel this is a step in the right direction. For the first time, I feel a sense of hope, which is a wonderful thing to feel.