one month-iversary

Posted on

Yesterday was our one month anniversary being married. When we were dating, we used to celebrate our anniversary each month and do something special. Mostly, it was one of the only time in a month where we could get off campus alone. We’d borrow a car – Kaspar’s or Emily’s or Tree’s – and go out to eat in Muncie or to a movie.

We talked about doing something special to celebrate one month of marriage and not sick of each other yet. ;-) Because I ended up getting a debilitating headache towards the later afternoon, I ended up jut coming home and resting for about an hour. We decided something low-key would be better. So our celebration consisted of going to Goodwill and getting some shirts for Paul. :-) It’s just so hard to find him clothes! We wanted pants too, but it was impossible to find. They had their clothes split between children’s and men’s, and there was nothing in between. So a size 14-16 boys was mixed in with the men, and that just made the search process even harder. However, we got a few nice shirts that he can wear to work and I was happy.

I also picked up “A Tale of Two Cities” and some short stories by O. Henry (one of Paul’s favorite writers). Paul found a book about learning COBOL in 21 days, and he got it for “prosperity’s sake”. All in all, a nice $14 shopping spree. Afterwards, we went to Linens N Things, looking for the one last thing we need for our bathroom set, which they STILL didn’t have, so I suppose we’ll have to order it online. We ate a nice romantic dinner at Jason’s Deli (one of my favorite places), and finished the evening with an episode of Gilmore Girls. All in all, a nice evening even if I was slightly sick.

I can’t believe it’s been a month already. It doesn’t seem that long! I haven’t quite mastered the wife thing yet – cooking still evades me, and the apartment is still a wreck – but I do love it. I love being with Paul, I love not having to hold myself back when I’m with him, I love doing things to make him feel special. Like when I get up at 5am and hand him his lunch – yeah, I love that. Well I don’t like getting up at 5am. No siree.

So, the question of the day is should we come up to Taylor for Homecoming in October?

monday monday

Posted on

I can’t believe it’s almost lunchtime! I feel like the day just started. This morning I have been working on little things, changes here and there for various jobs. I recently learned if I write every little thing I have to do down on a post-it note, and cross them off when I complete them, I am able to stay on task better. Also I get a secret satisfaction of crossing things off, even if it’s something simple like “Print email”. I am always looking for things to help me stay on task. Quitting Firefox helps too. :-) (But that doesn’t happen very much!)

This weekend was fun. After Paul got off work, I met him at the train station and we went shopping (always a favorite pasttime for me!). We stopped in Petsmart to get more catfood. I recently switched to a new brand – Hill’s Science Diet – that helps control hairballs. We had been having a lot of trouble with Lewis, and I think the new brand has really helped. It’s a little on the expensive side, but the vet recommended it and it’s worth it not having to always clean up hairball messes on the carpet. :-) This time we got the “Light” to help Lewis lose a little weight. I feel like I hardly feed him anything (1/2 cup dry food a day and 2 tablespoons of tuna), yet he looks so pudgy! Oh well, as long as he stays around 10 lbs he’ll be okay.

After Petsmart, we stopped at CompUSA and bought a laptop. :-) Thus begins our computer switching… exciting stuff! We wanted the laptop for portability reasons, and to have a second computer used mostly for Internet and AIM. For our wedding, my brother gave us a bunch of nice computer parts, about which Paul is really excited. We’re going to rebuild my desktop with the best parts, and have that as the main computer. Then we’ll take the other computer (Paul’s desktop) and use it as a Linux box. I have convinced Paul not to get a Mac for now, but that will come somewhere down the line. Paul is very excited about all this; a tri-operating system family. I personally like the laptop – being able to sit in front of the TV and still use the computer, work in the bedroom or on the porch, or use it elsewhere like when we travel.

On Sunday my parents were speaking at a church down south of Atlanta. It was the church my Dad’s parents went to before they passed away. It was fun – some of the people remembered me from when I was a toddler, and now they got to meet Paul. I also enjoyed seeing my parents again. Sunday evening Paul and I relaxed, watched some Gilmore Girls, enjoyed pizza and homemade strawberry ice cream. Now back in the swing of things… sigh.

Oh and for those who are interested, I posted my thoughts about working wives on my other blog.

career woman?

Posted on

The hot topic around the blogosphere right now is about working wives, and the effect their career has on their marriage and family. This is something I’ve been wrestling with a lot, and am working on a blog post in my other blog about the subject. (No promises when that will be published!)

This topic is an issue (a.k.a. “Mommy Wars”) which has been debated frequently in today’s day and age, with working women becoming the norm. This particular controversy is about the Forbes article that came out this week about careers and marriage. I’ve been reading several posts taking different points of view.

Crystal posted this “Don’t Marry A Career Woman” discussion, and then follow-up thoughts. She also had a link to SpunkyHomeSchool’s post responding to the article.

Also, Susan wrote a post critiquing the article itself, and reiterating why she believes as she does.

On the other side of the debate is a post by Joanna, weighing in with her thoughts and perspective. As well, thoughts from The Happy Feminist.

What do you think? Thoughts/responses/ideas?

wedding pictures

Posted on

Well, the moment everyone has been waiting for! Or it seems that way with the number of people asking about wedding pictures. :-)

To see our wedding pictures online, go to Moment By Moment Photography and click on “Client Area” (5th tab from the left). Then follow the link under “Online Proofing” and choose “Ashley & Paul” from the list on the right side of the page. The password is 072906.

EDIT: I uploaded an album of the top 60 highlights for those who don’t have time to look through 431 pictures! :-) Check them out here:

career wives

Posted on

Originally published on August 24th, 2006 at Onward & Upward
Sometimes I feel like I’m doing everything wrong. I read blogs about women who feel strongly that their place is at home and not in an office, and I feel like I’m failing my husband in some way. I told him this past week that I wanted to quit working full-time, and he seemed really apprehensive. He knows me better than anyone else, and he knew what the issue was.

“Are you sure that’s what you want to do, or is it just peer pressure?”

Ah, yes, the blogs I’ve been reading. All these wonderful women who stay at home and do all these admirable things for their husbands. They have done everything right from the beginning – they have learned to cook and sew, they haven’t gone to college so of course no college debt, and they have married a man with a salary enough to support a family and they are able to stay at home. Now, just for the record, I think it’s great that so many women are able to do this! To be honest, I’m jealous. I want to stay at home, and I want my sole responsibilities to be cooking and cleaning. I want to greet my husband at the door with a kiss and dinner on the table. I want to go grocery shopping during the day, and not as an afterthought in the evenings.

But to be honest, it’s not where God has me right now. He led me down a path that included university and a career in graphic design – something I truly love and something that I can use for His glory. He also led me to marry a wonderful man with a good job. However, even though my school loans are minimal, his loans are not, and he can’t support both me and pay off his loans without me bringing in a steady income as well. That’s the truth of the situation, and that’s how it has to be – at least for right now.

Now, when I say I’m a career wife, I do have to clarify something. I do have a university degree and I am in a job where I utilize that degree. I make a good living and I love what I do there. However, my family is first and foremost. Right now, my family consists of my husband and two cats – and a 700 square foot apartment. The minute I am needed at home full-time, then I will be happy to quit work. I am not after climbing the corporate ladder, so I’m more focused right now on doing the job I really enjoy. I do plan on quitting when we have children, and I plan on doing freelance graphic design from home after that as I am able. Right now, we are putting 100% of my paycheck (after tithes, of course!) toward our student loans to relieve as much of that burden as possible before we have children. Because, to be honest, I’d rather stay home and have all day to perfect a homecooked meal. But that’s a goal for me to look forward to, and I need to be content with where God has me right now.

With the conveniences of our modern day and age, I believe it’s entirely possible for women to work full-time and have a happy marriage. Sure, some things have to be sacrificed – I don’t have time to bake my own bread or sew my own clothes, but I do have the money to give to missions and help others in need. Meals are not fancy and often out of a box, but I hate to cook anyways. There are so many benefits to staying home, and I honestly look forward to that. In the meantime, I am focusing on the benefits of working. I am able to sharpen my skills and knowledge in graphic design daily, using the company’s resources. If I didn’t work here, I would have to shell out the $1200 to buy the software myself. I have daily interaction with people, which is something I need, especially since I don’t have a lot of friends here. I have a lot of interactions with nonbelievers which is not only a great opportunity to witness, but I also get to hear their point of view which not only challenges me, but helps me to relate to them better. I get to dress professionally every day, which is something I enjoy. I am helping my husband by relieving some of the financial burden, which he appreciates and allows him to pursue opportunities that will help him ultimately in his career. Most satisfying, though, is the knowledge that with every paycheck, our debt is going down that much more!

Is it biblical to work? I believe God made every woman differently, and it would be wrong to put every woman in a box and tell her she must do this. He has blessed us with so many talents, and I think it’s a good thing to have Christian women in the workplace. Even the Proverbs 31 wife worked; she buys fields and uses her earnings to plant a vineyard (vs. 16), and she makes and sells garments (vs. 24). Some women I believe God created to be the homemakers. He’s given them a desire to be at home, and a gift for all things homey. Other women are created to use their gifts in the workplace. I think the most important thing is that a woman put her family first, and keep them first over her career. Some women find it very difficult to do a 40 hour workweek and keep their husbands first. Some have discovered that they are better able to do this by working from home or working only part time. Others can work in an office by day and run a home in the evenings – and still are serving their husbands. I think this is a decision that is between a woman, her husband, and God – through much prayer and weighing of the options.

As for me, I look forward for the day when I can work from home. But that’s not where God has me right now, and I have to be okay with that. I can’t let others’ convictions make me unhappy with where He’s put me. And that’s the hardest thing for me to learn.