Monthly Archives: June 2007

Jun 20 2007

start right now

Lydia linked to a great article on her blog a few weeks ago. Heather Koerner writes on Boundless webzine an article entitled, “Ten Things Now to Stay at Home Later”. I thought what she had to say was really good. Here are the ten things (click here to read them in detail):

#1 Ask God
#2 Prepare to stay at home, even if you don’t think you will
#3 Beware the student loan
#4 Communicate with your future spouse
#5 Pay off debt
#6 Save for your wedding
#7 Live on one income once you are married
#8 Beware the mortgage monster
#9 Look for a side income
#10 Don’t give up!

I really appreciated this article because having one parent stay at home full-time is really important to both Paul and I. Neither of us want our kids raised by someone else – whether it be a relative or a daycare. Of course, there are instances where I might have to take a job because we have no other choice, but we hope that never happens.

I personally think that a lot of dual-income couples could afford for the wife to stay home full time if they had planned better financially in the beginning. When we got married, we spent a long time talking about our finances (as I hope every couple does!). We have heard so many stories of couples who intend to be stay-at-home but when the time comes they are too reliant on that second income. We didn’t want this to happen to us.

First, we put into practice #7 – and that’s the best thing I think we’ve ever done. Since I’m working right now because of our education debt, then it’s only fair that we put my entire paycheck towards those loans (after tithe, of course). We’re hoping that this way, when my paycheck DOES go away, we don’t miss it as much. We’re working on putting part of Paul’s paycheck towards loans, too. It’s hard, though, because it means living very simply and frugally. And let me tell you, when you’re used to NOT doing that it’s VERY hard to go the opposite way.

Another thing we’re doing is #9 – trying to put ourselves in a position where we can get extra income besides the typical 40-hr-week job. One great thing about being a graphic designer is that I can use my education and skills to do freelance work, and that can vary as much as I want it to (assuming, of course, that I’m able to successfully get work in when I’m wanting it). Paul has also been doing a lot of freelance recently, which is good. As I continue to polish my skills and build my portfolio, I can put myself in a position to be able to support us from home if times get lean – and I like that Paul can rely on me for that.

I might have more to say about this topic on a later date. I just can’t seem to get all my thoughts together right now.

Jun 18 2007

anticipation

So I’ve gotten a lot of positive feedback about my “dialogue” post. It seems I am not the only person who experiences frustration! I’m glad I’m not alone in this. I think when we’re writing public things online, we have to be really careful with what we say, so sometimes we end up coming across happier and more satisfied than we actually feel. I think it’s inevitable for us to feel some dissatisfaction with what you do – even Lindsey, who is a stay-at-home homeschooling mom (what I want to do) – feels this way. I think perhaps God gives us these times of discouragement so we cling to HIM for happiness and contentment, instead of relying on our life or job or friends to make us happy. SO hard to do, though. The nice thing is He’s not scared off by my female roller-coaster emotions. For now, I am praying that He’ll give me contentment for being where I am, and if He wants me to move on then He’ll make it clear. I’m trying to be open to His leading. It’s hard for a Type-A person! Perhaps that’s another reason why He lets us fall into times of discontentment – so we’ll be more open to Him. We’re a lot less likely to “pack our bags and go” if we have a nice, comfortable job and a fairly rewarding lifestyle. Anyways, just some thoughts on the subject.

When I was really depressed in high school, a friend of mine told me that I needed to find things to look forward to. At the time, I thought that was pretty stupid – “it’s not even CLOSE to Christmas!”. But in retrospect, I think that it’s a pretty good idea. (I’m talking about feeling depressed or down, not clinical depression which I know is serious and much more complicated.) So I have been trying to focus on things I can look forward to, even if they are little. (The downside of this method is that if something falls through then I’m majorly disappointed. Still working on that.)

So, a few things:

  • Dinner with the Garrisons tonight, always a fun affair
  • Getting to stay in a hotel with Paul on our way up to Indiana. I like staying in hotels, and we haven’t stayed in one since our honeymoon!
  • Lunch with Joanna on Friday.
  • Sopeak & Zay’s wedding on Saturday, and getting to see all our old friends both at the rehearsal dinner and the wedding. ‘Twill be fun!
  • My office is moving to the new building sometime next week. I am excited at this change – it is much needed.
  • Various weddings this summer, the Gerig reunion, and our first anniversary.

I kinda take it on a week-by-week basis if you didn’t notice. :-) Keeping my eye on what’s ahead prevents me from “wallowing” in current feelings of sadness. It also makes me appreciate my downtime more. A lot of times, events will require preparation, which will excite me too. For example, I have to bring home all my personal stuff from this office in preparation for the move. I’m excited to get that all packed up! (I obviously don’t have much personal stuff in my office. :-)) These next few days will be busy getting ready for the trip to Indiana, and then I’ll be gone all weekend… So I’m not sure how much I will be able to post. I’ll try, though. :-) I have a few saved in my drafts if I don’t have time.

Jun 14 2007

You will find true love on Flag Day

Happy Flag Day, y’all! :-)

Today marks the 230th birthday of our nation’s flag!

“On June 14, 1777, in order to establish an official flag for the new nation, the Continental Congress passed the first Flag Act: ‘Resolved, That the flag of the United States be made of thirteen stripes, alternate red and white; that the union be thirteen stars, white in a blue field, representing a new Constellation.’”

The flag of our country has stood for a lot over the years. Life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness, freedom. It has a lot of emotional meaning for a lot of people. It’s even the basis of our country’s national anthem.

Oh, say can you see by the dawn’s early light
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight’s last gleaming?
Whose broad stripes and bright stars thru the perilous fight,
O’er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming?
And the rocket’s red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there.
Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave?

Have a wonderful day! And don’t forget to hang your flag out!

(* Title courtesy of Mr. Burns)

Jun 13 2007

the beauty of forgiveness

Originally published on October 23rd, 2006 at Onward & Upward

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32

Did you ever had one of those years when you were growing up? When everything seems to go wrong? Perhaps you were the target of a class bully, or tormenting by a former best friend. Perhaps it was the year your parents moved to a new town. Whatever the reason, it was the year plagued with loneliness and awkwardness as you moved from childhood to adulthood, not really sure of where you stood or what you really wanted in life.

I had one of those years – 5th grade. Fourth grade was bad too, but not like 5th grade. The year I cried myself to sleep with my mom rubbing my back trying to convince me that someday this would all pass by and everything would be okay.

Usually the tears were thanks to a certain girl named Tina* (*name changed) in my class. Due to the small nature of our mission school, we were the only two in our grade, and Tina felt it her competitive duty to make sure she always came out on top. Being the compliant child I was, I let her push me around, tease me, and hurt me until I was convinced that I was everything she said I was.

I think every girl can understand that confusion when you try so hard to please someone and they just return bitter words. I think everyone knows what it’s like to be lonely, to play with your dolls wishing for a real friend. I don’t think I have to explain the hurt I felt to anyone. Tina left for the States after 5th grade, and all of 6th grade I dealt with the repercussions of the year of teasing. No longer under her, the hurt turned into anger and bitterness, especially as I realized to what extent her affect had on me.

This story does have a happy ending. In 7th grade, I was assigned a paper on the topic of “forgiveness” for Bible class, and I think that is when I really let the hurt and anger slide away and truly forgave what she did. God taught me a lot as I poured through the Scriptures looking for references to forgiveness. The biggest thing of all: anything that Tina had done to me, had been done to Christ. And Christ not only forgave but He paid the price for those sins. How could I not do the simple act of turning around and forgiving her? It wasn’t easy, I don’t think – is it ever? But a necessary step. And God wasn’t finished with our story yet.

Fast forward about 5 years. Tina and I both returned to Peru, but we went to different schools and rarely saw each other. Again it was a lonely time in my life, but not at the fault of any particular person or persons. I was desperate to know who I was, as a person and as a Christian. At the time I was involved in an active youth group at my church. Each year, we had a weeklong retreat on the beach, and my senior year Tina was in attendance. I remember one evening climbing the steps to a little rooftop area where patio furniture overlooked the beach. It was quiet and peaceful. I saw Tina up there, and as I joined her I noticed a Bible in her lap.

We talked then. We talked about what had happened. We talked about remorse, and forgiveness. We talked about healing. We talking about friendship and moving forward. We talked about where we were today, and how God was working in our lives. I remember Tina sharing things from her heart, showing me some of the Bible passages she had been pouring over and meditating on. I remember telling her about the aching loneliness I felt, and her assurance of God always being there as a friend. There is more to our conversation, and the things God taught me at that time in my life, but they are for another time. What I always love is how God brought things full circle. He took the girl who used to torment me, and seven years later He used her to draw me closer to Him.

To me, that is the beauty of forgiveness.