So I’ve gotten a lot of positive feedback about my “dialogue” post. It seems I am not the only person who experiences frustration! I’m glad I’m not alone in this. I think when we’re writing public things online, we have to be really careful with what we say, so sometimes we end up coming across happier and more satisfied than we actually feel. I think it’s inevitable for us to feel some dissatisfaction with what you do – even Lindsey, who is a stay-at-home homeschooling mom (what I want to do) – feels this way. I think perhaps God gives us these times of discouragement so we cling to HIM for happiness and contentment, instead of relying on our life or job or friends to make us happy. SO hard to do, though. The nice thing is He’s not scared off by my female roller-coaster emotions. For now, I am praying that He’ll give me contentment for being where I am, and if He wants me to move on then He’ll make it clear. I’m trying to be open to His leading. It’s hard for a Type-A person! Perhaps that’s another reason why He lets us fall into times of discontentment – so we’ll be more open to Him. We’re a lot less likely to “pack our bags and go” if we have a nice, comfortable job and a fairly rewarding lifestyle. Anyways, just some thoughts on the subject.
When I was really depressed in high school, a friend of mine told me that I needed to find things to look forward to. At the time, I thought that was pretty stupid – “it’s not even CLOSE to Christmas!”. But in retrospect, I think that it’s a pretty good idea. (I’m talking about feeling depressed or down, not clinical depression which I know is serious and much more complicated.) So I have been trying to focus on things I can look forward to, even if they are little. (The downside of this method is that if something falls through then I’m majorly disappointed. Still working on that.)
So, a few things:
- Dinner with the Garrisons tonight, always a fun affair
- Getting to stay in a hotel with Paul on our way up to Indiana. I like staying in hotels, and we haven’t stayed in one since our honeymoon!
- Lunch with Joanna on Friday.
- Sopeak & Zay’s wedding on Saturday, and getting to see all our old friends both at the rehearsal dinner and the wedding. ‘Twill be fun!
- My office is moving to the new building sometime next week. I am excited at this change – it is much needed.
- Various weddings this summer, the Gerig reunion, and our first anniversary.
I kinda take it on a week-by-week basis if you didn’t notice. :-) Keeping my eye on what’s ahead prevents me from “wallowing” in current feelings of sadness. It also makes me appreciate my downtime more. A lot of times, events will require preparation, which will excite me too. For example, I have to bring home all my personal stuff from this office in preparation for the move. I’m excited to get that all packed up! (I obviously don’t have much personal stuff in my office. :-)) These next few days will be busy getting ready for the trip to Indiana, and then I’ll be gone all weekend… So I’m not sure how much I will be able to post. I’ll try, though. :-) I have a few saved in my drafts if I don’t have time.