I remember the first time I heard the term “Gerigian”. It was from Emily Brown, my first week at Taylor. She was showing me the ropes… Explaining where the Gerig section is at chapel and in the DC. I didn’t realize how close the residents of Gerig are at the time, but now that I look back I really appreciate that I lived where I did. I loved that I had both brothers and sisters, even the ones I hardly ever talked to. Hanging out in the lounge and working the desk were important in my getting to know everyone. I love the people I got to know, and the conversations we’d have. I loved sitting in the lounge and talking to anyone who walked by. If I was lucky, they’d stop and chat with me too. In Gerig I was comfortable to be who I was and didn’t feel pressured to be anyone else. I was Ashley, and people liked me for me.
Yesterday I went to the annual Gerig Hall Christmas Open House. I love Christmas Open House. My freshman year I got really into it with turning my suite into a children’s bookstore. My sophomore year we were “jungle suite” and last year we did a World War 2 theme. But this year… I simply attended. It seemed pretty successful, and I enjoyed what I saw. But as I wandered around the floors, I realized that I’m no longer a Gerigian. I knew this would happen, but it made me sad. I said hi to people and tried to make small talk, but it seems that there isn’t much to say anymore. I wasn’t in much of a gaming mood (I never am when I’m by myself) and I just wished I had someone to share it with. I’m like that; in my mind it’s not worth experiencing something unless you have someone to share it with. I think that’s why I get lonely so easily.
I found Margaret playing Scrabble and she said she wanted to go to the Olson Hall Open House, so we walked over there. (Gerig’s was better ;-).) I enjoyed walking around with Margaret, and decided not to go back to Gerig even though I’d only been there about 1/2 an hour. I’m not a Gerigian anymore. I’m a resident of Fairlane 2L. And this is where I belong. These are the people I talk to and where I feel comfortable. I miss Gerig a lot, but I don’t regret moving offcampus. I miss the Gerig I used to know, in previous years.
Things change; it’s inevitable. I can’t expect everything and everyone to remain the same. I shouldn’t dwell on my sadness, but I think it’s healthy to acknowledge it. Maybe someday I will find a home where I once again will be comfortable, and not lonely. That’s my desire and goal.