hi, I'm an extrovert! or am i?

hi, I'm an extrovert! or am i?

The first time I was tested for Myers-Briggs, I scored right on the border between introvert and extrovert. I thought that was interesting, as I often wonder on which side of the coin I fell, because I seem to be inconsistent when observing my own actions.

Sometimes a certain situation pushes me one way or another. When I was in college, I lived in the dorms for 3 years. But I was around people all. The. Time. I relished the quiet of my own space on the rare occasions I got it. Yet, I felt compelled to be in the lounge – addicted to hanging out there in all my free time. (It might have had something to do with a certain boy.) I’m weird, I know.

Post-college was the opposite. I lived by myself in an apartment. I had all the alone time I could want. I had very few friends outside of the internet, and I saw them infrequently. I was lonely. I craved being with people. While being married has definitely helped fill my people-need, I still miss the friendships I had in college.

For almost 2 weeks in June, I went on a long trip that involved being with friends constantly almost the whole time. I was curious how well I’d do. When I got home, I was definitely tired and ready to crash, but I wasn’t peopled-out at all. I thought that was interesting, and wondered if I am more of an extrovert than I thought. It wouldn’t surprise me if I’ve changed in this way since being married to Paul – he is an extreme introvert, which I have a feeling probably brings out the extrovert in me.

Regardless of whether being with people charges me or wears me out, I am still pretty shy. Paul is shy too, which makes it difficult for us to force ourselves to meet people. These past 3+ years have been very slow in friendship-building, but we are slowly getting there. We’ve enjoyed the friendships we’ve made, especially ones where we both enjoy being with the other couple. I wonder how having kids is going to affect that.

I have always found personality profiles very interesting, and over the years have taken the Myers-Briggs several times. I’ve scored pretty much the same thing every time I’ve taken it. A few weeks after my trip to Indiana and New England, I went to a party. I had a good time, but being there completely wore me out. It wasn’t a group of people I knew well enough to be completely myself around, and Paul wasn’t there for most of it because he had to work. I came home and was relishing being in the quiet aloneness of my own apartment, and wondering if maybe I was wrong about the whole extroverted thing after all. I decided to take an online Myers-Briggs thing that my friend Becky had recently done, and see what it said. You can see my results here.

As you can see, I scored 73% introvert. I personally still think it’s closer to 50/50 – that my answers were skewed since I had just come from the party and was in a particularly introverted mood when I took the test.

If you’ve read my blog since the beginning, you may remember that I’ve written about my Myers-Briggs results before. These two online tests scored the same, and match what I’ve gotten previous times when I’ve actually taken the test for real (in counseling sessions). I’m an ISFJ, which basically means (according to the previously linked website mypersonality.info):

ISFJs are traditional, loyal, quiet and kind. They are very sensitive to other people’s needs because they are very observant. They have rich inner thoughts and emotions. They value stability and cultural norms. They are very adept at giving attention to detail. They do not seek positions of authority.

You can click on the links for more information, or to find out more about your own personality type.

I guess I still don’t know whether I’m an introvert or extrovert. I have a feeling I’ll always hover over the fence on this one! I think being a shy extrovert is a pretty good description. People (and specifically, old friends) are very important to both Paul and I. Hence the weddings we love to attend, the annual trips to Indiana, and the numerous camping trips with friends. I really hope that we are able to still do this after we have kids – that they will be good travelers! Our first test will be in October, when we get to make a 10 hour drive with a 6 week old baby. :-) I’m inspired by my parents – as missionaries, they *had* to travel and speak at churches, so they took us everywhere. I’m also inspired by the Millers, who really do seem to be traveling every other week with their two little ones. If they can do it, so can we! :-)

2 thoughts on “hi, I'm an extrovert! or am i?

  1. Traveling with a baby isn’t too bad!! :-) As long as it’s just ONE baby! :-) We traveled a 1K mile (each way) trip when our oldest was just 4 or 6 weeks old. Over the first 8 months of his life we made that trip a few times in the car and I even flew down here with him alone (not fun! btw lol) When he was 8 months, we moved here and made our last 1K mile drive. (Can you tell I don’t intend to go back?!) It’s definitely easier to travel when they’re really little….they just sleep and eat. I wouldn’t attempt that trip now with a barely 3 yr old, 19 month old and newborn! I’m sure you’ll find it enjoyable and have a blast showing the perfect little baby off to EVERYONE! :-) (oooohhhh now I’m getting excited thinking about reading your birth story on here!!!)

  2. Every time I’ve taken a Myers Briggs test (which is a lot) I’m solidly, SOLIDLY am ISTJ. When I read the description, I realize ISTJs are painfully boring- and that it describes me to a T. Alas. There is no question I’m an introvert.

    I’m excited for your October trip, but selfishly because I’ll get to see you, and meet Sparkleberry!

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