On Monday was our big interview with Apartment Life.

Today we got an email from the person we interviewed with, saying that at this point there aren’t any apartment communities available for us to move in October, and they didn’t know when one would be available.

This was the closed door we were looking for. Because, to be honest, after the interview we both felt that we shouldn’t go through with this. The interview went okay; we talked to a staff member who went in depth about the responsibilities we would have and what a normal week/month would look like for us. She told us the pros and cons that we could expect, and talked about the kinds of things that lead to successful ministries. (For example, she said a successful couple tends to be extroverted and hospitable – two things we aren’t.)

Paul and I actually made the decision last night to not pursue this. Our hesitation was because we don’t ever want to not do something that God has asked us to do because we were too scared or we didn’t want to be outside our comfort zone. However, I don’t think that means you have to intentionally place yourself in a stressful situation just because you think it’s a good Christian thing to do!

So, the fact that God closed a door actually relieved us very much. And it answered a few questions about our future, something which I hadn’t realized had been weighing on me so much. I’ve actually been so stressed out the past few weeks, worrying about various decisions to make in addition to planning multiple trips and just overall having a lot on my mind. I just sent the email letting them know that we would like to withdraw our names from consideration for the apartment ministry. There will be other ministries, and hopefully we’ll be able to find one that we can serve together and it will use the gifts we have better.

Now we are in the process of deciding if we should stay where we are for another year or move to a new apartment. I think we’ll look to buy a place in fall of 2009, though as we take a hard look at our budget we aren’t sure if we’ll have enough for a down payment by then. We’ll see. We first need to see how much the new owners of our complex are going to raise our rent, and perhaps use the threat of lease renewing to get them to fix some things. Or perhaps we’ll decide it’s better to move over to the area where we intend to buy a condo when we can, which will mean downsizing but also will help us make a more informed decision in a year about where/when we should buy. Of course, the thought of having to move both excites me and fills me with dread. It will be our fourth apartment since we married in 2006. Are we crazy? Or does it just show so plainly that we’re a military brat and a missionary kid? Ah, life. Will I ever be satisfied with where I am?