questions

questions

The cats decided to hold the Indy 500 in my bedroom this morning. I woke up around 6:30 (2 hours after i went to bed!) with them racing wildly around. I tried to kick them out, but my method in my sleepy state was to stand at my bedroom door and say “Out! Out!”. Yeah, anyone who’s had cats will tell you that won’t work. So I climbed back into bed and fell asleep.

I saw a headline today that made me laugh: Five million goldfish prepare to die as Iran marks new year.

By the way, thanks for all the encouraging IMs when I got home last night. I appreciated them! It’s nice to be reminded that people care about me.

Sometimes I feel like I’m doing everything wrong. I wish I could just date the person I want to date, without any fuss. I wish families wouldn’t get involved. I wish they wouldn’t use the “I’m older and wiser than you and you’ll thank me later” thing because that makes me feel like I can’t make any decisions by myself. What do I know? I’m only a 22 year old. So young.

Here are the facts: No one is perfect. Love is a choice. Marriage is something you have to work at regardless of how perfect a couple is. So therefore, if I’ve found a guy who has chosen to love me and be committed, and is willing to work hard at marriage, and I the same towards him, then I’m a lucky girl! He’s not perfect, but neither is the next guy. So why is it such a big deal? Why are my parents blowing up his faults and telling me that he’s not the “one”? Why do I get the feeling that they are just comparing him to them, and that the “faults” aren’t really faults at all? Who am I to tell them that I think they’re wrong? Are they right all along? Am I settling for the first thing I got, instead of waiting around for something better? Will I ever know? God, what do YOU want for me?

So many questions. Not enough answers.

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