Monthly Archives: June 2004

Jun 25 2004

positive outlook on life

I tend to be a negative person. I assume the worst, and sometimes others find it hard to put up with me when I’m in one of those moods because all I can focus on is the negative. I get into a “poor me” attitude, and when I look back at myself, I am ashamed. A good example is last fall… I know people got tired of hearing me complain, but I immaturely continued to complain to everyone about how much I hated certain things that had happened in my life. I am apologizing now to those people… you know who you are. I’m very sorry for being like that, and I am sorry for all the bitterness I’ve had towards you because you didn’t always listen to me or sometimes you dared to tell me the truth about my behavior.

I’m not sure what really prompted this sudden thinking of mine… But as I’ve been writing blogs and reading other people’s blogs, I’ve realize the most interesting are the ones that are positive and not someone just complaining about life. I can understand venting, but constant negativity is hard to take, especially when you tend to be a negative person already. I think I want to try and write about the positive things in life, because I could so easily complain of loneliness or of long work days or of constant headaches. But that’s not interesting for you to read. It’s not just that, though. Once I start focusing on the positive, it will probably help me in my whole life, as I seek to find something to write about that’s good… Not saying the bad days won’t happen, but it will become easier to be optimistic. This will help me a lot in my attitude.

I hold you to keep me accountable to this. :-) Call me on negativity! But please don’t be brutal… this is very new for this pessamist. But I will try! And I know that I can do everything through Christ who strengthens me.

Jun 24 2004

funny story

Today we were having trouble printing on one of the three printers in the office. Holly was trying and trying, messing with the printer, trying different settings and different computers. No avail. At one point, she went back and sat at her computer and said, “I am going to try and make the printer jealous by printing to a different printer.”

Okay, maybe it was funnier at the time.

Days till Paul gets here: 5!

Jun 23 2004

ups and downs

Up: We got an email from our pastor from our church in Muncie encouraging us not to worry about the fees. He said some of them can be waived, and he’d see about getting others reduced. I think it will be more like $200 for custodial services rather than $700. That’s a relief! (BTW, this includes having the reception at the church.)

Down: I turned on my laptop today for the first time since I got home a month ago and discovered that the screen is all cracked. *sigh* I guess I owe my parents a new laptop… :-(

Up: My mom and I went to Michael’s yesterday and got lots of wedding decoration ideas. It was fun. We looked at flowers too… and started getting some ideas. I’m getting excited (if I wasn’t before) about the things I’m going to be able to do for our wedding. I think it will look nice even though we’re on a limited budget. In a way, I feel sorry for the people who have the money to pay for everything. I am really enjoying this and it’s going to be so personal and so us. If I had the money to pay someone else to do this, I would miss out on all the great ideas there are out there and all the ways to make this event personal, as well as focusing on the real reason of this marriage: a celebration. I just need to keep that in mind. Yesterday we also went to Linens N Things and looked at their selection for possibly registering there for our wedding. It was fun to walk around and think about our apartment. I can’t wait to take Paul there and get his opinion on things. We’re also going to look at Bed Bath & Beyond, which has a better selection but it’s more expensive. Hopefully we’ll be able to find everything we need at Linens N Things (for the sake of our poverty-stricken college friends who are buying us gifts :-)). We’re also going to go check out Target, although I’ve had two people tell me what a horrible time they had registering there. And one person (Beth) who had a great experience.

Down: This is the third time I’ve typed this blog because blogger kept giving me an error and I lost my post the first two times. Then I got smart and wrote it in a text document and saved it. :-)

Up: Paul gets here in 6 days!

Jun 21 2004

the roller coaster of life

Yesterday I was on the top of the world. My Paul is coming to visit me in 8 days, and I’m so excited to see him. This could be the last time I see him until our wedding. I hope not… but I can’t deny that it could be.

Then today I heard from our church in Muncie, about the cost of the weddings. It is going to cost between $700 and $850 to get married at that church. This is soo frustrating because we very definitely can’t afford that. I don’t really know what to do. I really want to have a wedding, in a church… like every girl’s dream. I was even feeling a bit more positive about the cost of the reception. But this… this was something I did not expect. I don’t know what to do.

How far do you go to trust that God will provide? Do you commit to something you can’t pay for and trust that He’ll provide the rest? Or do you try your hardest to fit everything in the budget you have? This is such a hard thing for me. :-(

I am feeling down now… I think I will go read or something.

Jun 20 2004

paul is coming!

I just found out tonight that Paul is probably coming for July 4th weekend! Hooray!! :-D That makes me super happy. I’m so excited, I don’t know if I will be able to sleep! :-D

Don’t forget to answer my poll in the last paragraph of my post from yesterday (saturday). :-)