the wedding is off…

the wedding is off…

Oh no, don’t get scared. The marriage is still on. It’s just the wedding part I’m not sure about. The reason? Cost. *sigh* I won’t bore you with the details, but I will say Frankie dried my tears (figuratively speaking, since our conversation was over AIM), and assured me that something would work out. Thanks so much, Frankie…. I appreciate it.

I’m left now wondering what is important for a wedding? Why do I want one? Why not just elope like Paul’s parents? Paul and I were talking about this, and both of us agreed that we really want the presence of friends to help celebrate it. Our marriage is a big deal… And it’s a celebration, a symbol of Christ’s love for the church, a symbol of two lives bonding together to be one. We want to rejoice with people. Neither of us are expecting something extravagant… I had never really entertained hopes of having a fancy reception. So, getting down to the bare bones of the matter, what can we cut out of our wedding and still have a wonderful day, celebrating, and feel complete? A wedding dress? Should I walk down the aisle in a white shirt and pants? Oh that would kill me… but dresses are so expensive, even to make. How about the reception? The decorations? So important… we’ve had our hearts set on the beach theme… And you know me, I put so much love and care into making things. The food? The cake? The punch? Those are things that will affect the guests more than us. Flowers? I suppose we could go silk, since a winter wedding will jack up the cost of flowers. What makes a wedding a wedding? How much can I have and still feel happy with it all?

These are the things I am wrestling with. I just want to marry the love of my life, without all these hard decisions. I want our family and friends to celebrate with us. I want people to get the sense of rejoicing, and not “oh this is cheap”. God, give me the patience to wait for You to provide…

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