Well my first class of today got out early, and I came back to the apartment to look for my wallet. I found it almost immediately which made me feel really stupid in the first place. *sigh* At least I have it now and I have a few minutes to kill before chapel. Yesterday was the first day of classes. I only have one on Tuesdays: Art History. It should be… well the same as last semester’s art history class….
Well it’s been a crazy weekend. After having my heart broken in a million pieces on Tuesday night, I managed to stumble through Wednesday and put on a good face while I tried to focus on the things I needed to do. I really did feel okay on Wednesday. Thursday was bad. I left in the morning for Atlanta. I cried a lot. My mom came home from work for about half an hour to see me off. I cried…
I can hear the slap of the back cover of a book as it closes and I pull out a new book, ready to begin a whole new chapter of my life. All the pages are blank as of yet; I have no idea what will fill them. The last chapter ended suddenly – my three-month engagement was abruptly cut short faster than I could understand it myself, and the last pages of that chapter were filled with heartache and…
Tonight. It all comes down to tonight. I’m a basket case; I can’t concentrate, I can’t think, I just putz around doing nothing. What’s he going to say? What should I respond with? Should I plead and beg? Should I be cold and harden my heart so I can’t feel the pain? What I don’t get is that I really prayed about this and I really felt that God was leading us towards a future together… So then why would…
I have so much to do, but I don’t feel like doing it. I am thinking, as always, about Paul. Because either tonight or tomorrow night he’s going to call me and tell me his decision about our future together. I’m hoping for the best but expecting the worst. Or rather, I’m not allowing myself to think of the best because I’m afraid that my heart is going to break all over again. This heartbreak feeling is getting all too…