answers to questions
I had two questions in my “questions” post, so I thought I’d better get around to answering them now before I forget and it never happens. :-)
Becky asked: What’s your guiltiest of guilty pleasures?
Okay I spent a long time trying to think of what my guilty pleasures were, and which ones I would be willing to share publicly on this blog. ;-) I don’t know what would be my “guiltiest”, but I’ll share a guilty pleasure that I don’t talk about except in certain groups of people. I really like to watch the TV show Friends. I borrowed the first 5 or 6 seasons from a friend once, and have seen enough of the remaining seasons to know what happens. I know there are lots of reasons why I shouldn’t watch that show, but I really enjoy it. I love the characters (Monica is my favorite, and I love her and Chandler’s relationship), and most of the time I really enjoy the humor. I probably wouldn’t buy the box set, but I do tune in when I see it is showing on TV.
prov31girl2be asked: My question for you is, what have you taken away from that experience [the miscarriage]? Would you say you’re more sensitive than ever? Do you find yourself still hurting inside because of it? or have the joys of this pregnancy taken away most of the pain?
This is an interesting question. My feelings/thoughts have changed a lot in the past 14 months. It took about 6 months before we got pregnant again, and I think that is when I did most of my mourning/pondering about the miscarriage. When I found out I was pregnant it was right before Christmas and I was so scared I would lose the baby again, right at Christmas time and my birthday! I didn’t tell anyone (except Paul) and every single time I used the restroom I checked for spotting. I couldn’t let myself be happy about being pregnant, something that makes me sad although at the time I knew I was just protecting myself from being hurt again. I wasn’t going to tell anyone we were expecting until the end of the first trimester but then I got so sick and I knew it would have been harder to keep it a secret. It was very, very hard for me to be excited about the baby until partway through my 2nd trimester when the sickness finally went away. I think 10 weeks was when I stopped being extremely paranoid about miscarrying again. Before, I hated people talking to me about the baby, especially when they’d pressure me to talk about names or guess the gender. That really, really bothered me a lot, to talk about the baby. Once all that passed I really moved on emotionally from the miscarriage. I decided to not bring it up unless it was an appropriate time – meaning, I respond with “yes” if people ask if this is my first pregnancy, etc. This wasn’t to diminish the experience but rather to simplify things and not delve into those thoughts and feelings again. I think mostly the pain inside is gone, due to this pregnancy. I hope I am sensitive towards women who have the same experience. I know that it bothers me when the topic is treated lightly, like on a TV show where a “problem pregnancy” is conveniently dealt with by a miscarriage.
3 thoughts on “answers to questions”
I think your thoughts post-miscarriage are wonderful….it’s amazing how the pregnancy and birth of your first child does “heal” you from the tramatic experience of losing a pregnancy. I agree with you it’s hard when people ask if it’s your first pregnancy etc….I’m still never really sure how to answer when asked about ours… we should have had a 5 and 6 yr old in addition to our 3, 1 1/2 and newborn. It’s beautiful you learned about your pregnancy just before your birthday, though sad that such fear came with it…I’m fearful every pregnancy also…and always fear the worst will happen! I believe with all my heart that our experiences help to shape who we are and that God uses EVERYTHING in our lives for His glory. I have no doubt that at some point in each of our futures, He will use our loss to reach out to someone hurting in the same kind of situation. I’m eager to see you deliver and enjoy this precious life you carry inside of you!! ONLY 7 days to go (ok, give or take some eh? :-) I hope you’ll let us all know when labor hits!!!
Congratulations!!!! I just heard the news about Baby Savannah. I hope you are all doing well! Congrats!!
Congratulations! We heard via Dan and Tree’s blog. We’re so happy for you!!
Hey, hey.. you guys have a baby. (sopeak)
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