Paul and I were discussing this a few days ago, and I was surprised that we differed in opinion. I’d like to hear what others have to say. I’m not looking to determine a right/wrong, biblical/unbiblical – I’m more just interested to hear how other people would react.
Hypthetical situation: What would you do if you found out your daughter was pregnant out of wedlock? Would you encourage her to get married? What if she was a Christian but the guy wasn’t? Would you still encourage marriage in the hopes that he would come around? What if they were 16? 19? 25? If they were young (i.e. still in high school), and wanted to get married, would you be okay with that? What if the guy was a total jerk and you knew he wouldn’t be a good provider for his family – would you discourage a marriage? Assuming that abortion is not an option for anyone, would you want your daughter to keep the baby or give it up for adoption? Would you raise the baby as your own child if your daughter did not want to raise it?
Part of this was prompted by the movie “Riding in Cars With Boys”, where the parents made their 15 year old daughter marry the guy who empregnanted her. In retrospect that seemed like a bad idea based on the character of the guy, but then again it was a movie. Another part was prompted by Gilmore Girls, and whether Lorelai should still marry Rory’s father even though Rory is 21 years old.
Of course, I realize that everything would depend on the specific situation and the characters, ages, maturity levels, etc. of the individuals involved.
For the record, Paul said that he would encourage marriage no matter what, because the best thing for a child is to have his biological parents married. I said I didn’t think I would encourage marriage if they were young – i.e. 16, and I also would draw the line if one was a Christian and the other wasn’t. I thought it would ultimately be better for both if she waited for the right guy who could be a positive husband and a positive stepfather. Paul said he would encourage marriage in the hopes that the nonChristian would come around to Christianity, because if they were married then we (as parents) will be able to have a better influence on him. It was an interesting discussion, to say the least.
So, what would you do? Again, I’m not looking to establish a right and wrong response, but I’m just curious how you’d react to a bad situation.