(Originally published at Onward Christian Soldier) 

Today I asked Paul if he thought we were ready for marriage. It’s weird to be thinking about this seriously again… Looking back, I can see how we weren’t ready a year ago, but at the time I couldn’t see that. How do I know if I’m ready?

One thing we didn’t do last time was pray about it, something I am determined to change. I want to be a woman of God and I want to have a godly relationship with Paul. How to know for sure though that marriage is the right next step for us, and that this is the right time to be pursuing that?

I don’t believe that God always speaks directly to us, but rather often guides our steps through opportunities, closed doors, and opened windows. I remember praying a lot about whether Paul and I should even start dating, and God really opened the doors for this relationship. I want to continue to seek Him about taking this relationship to the next level.

I can see how God is laying a path for us to marry. The biggest is a job. Another is the issues we have been talking about. I feel that I have a better understanding of who I want to be in Christ, and what is important to me. I am also confident that Paul can be that man I desire. I have seen his passion and courage. Even in this past year, he has transformed and grown so much. I see his desire to seek God, and to do right by me. He really treats me like a princess. God has given me such a love for Paul despite everything. I can’t say that love comes from me because my own flesh seems to oppose it – but my heart cries out.

Are we ready for marriage? I am beginning to feel confident that we are on the right track, and as long as we stay there, we well be blessed.