I’m exhausted! but feeling accomplished

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There is something I’ve been meaning to do for a long, long time, and have never gotten around to it… until today!

My bedroom is a WRECK. We pretty much haven’t touched it since we moved in, so the dresser has been piled high with miscellaneous things, the closets were completely disorganized, and our floor was pretty much covered by clothes. I’ve been pretty dissatisfied with our bedroom – I feel like the furniture we have doesn’t work for us anymore.

For some reason, today I woke up and was in the mood to clean. It helped having Paul home to help me and entertain Savannah as needed. First, I went through the closet and pulled out all the clothes that didn’t fit anymore. A lot of them were from my working days – they were in good condition, but I just so RARELY dress up anymore that it didn’t seem worth saving. I also got rid of a lot of shoes. I was addicted to sandals (again in my working days) and had a variety of colors and styles. Many of them were so worn out and used (I bought cheap shoes) that they weren’t worth saving. Anything decent I put in a Goodwill bag and ended up filling a large black plastic bag that Paul dropped off at Goodwill this afternoon. It felt good to get that out!

I don’t really have a good spot right now to store out-of-season clothes, so they have all been mixed up with everything else. I reorganized my dresses, putting winter shirts in one drawer, summer shirts in another, and then hanging all my maternity clothes (since I’m wearing them right now). Paul and I also have been doing a lot of laundry because I’m ALWAYS behind on that! (Hence the clothes all over the floor.)

I cleaned off the nightstand and the dresser, then took some pictures for my house blog. You can see them here!

One of the reasons I want new furniture is because I don’t think the current furniture is working for us right now. For example, our dresser takes up an entire wall but it really doesn’t do a great job at holding my clothes. The drawers aren’t deep enough or something. We don’t have enough room for the current nightstand next to the bed, so we’re making due with makeshift tables that are pretty wobbly and VERY much not good for toddlers. Also, Savannah loves opening the drawers and pulling stuff out, so we keep them empty… and we bash our shins on the edge every time we walk by.

One of the big problems with the room is that we just throw everything on the floor. I’d love to figure out *why* we do that and then brainstorm how to stop it. Not sure why I don’t want to walk over to the laundry hamper and throw them in there at the end of the day? I’m sure part of the solution is some habit changes, but I feel like if we could make the furniture fit our current habits as best as possible that would help!

I’m eyeing a few things at Ikea, like this room. We’ll see. :-)

laptop needed a bath!

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Last Friday, I did the thing a mother of a two year old should never do: I went to the bathroom. By myself. I know, how dare I take a moment to myself??

I came back to discover that Savannah had very kindly opened my bottle of water and poured its contents over my closed laptop. Which was unfortunate for me.

In short, the motherboard was damaged and that essentially renders the laptop useless. The timing was especially bad – I am in the middle of a freelance project and was hoping to really concentrate on it over the weekend. Saturday morning we took the computer to a local repair place, and they confirmed that it would need to be replaced. (Paul took it apart and was pretty sure it was dead, but he wanted a second opinion.)

A few nights ago we finally got the chance to buy a new one. I essentially got the same laptop I’d had, but a little better. The place that looked at my lappy got all my files off of it, and as of yesterday I am back in business!

I guess I’m excited about a new computer, but I would have preferred to spend that money elsewhere. My other laptop was just slightly over a year old so the differences aren’t too major.

And I’ve learned my lesson – drinking water is bad for you (or rather, for your electronics) when toddlers are around. I shall not repeat my mistake!

a little bittersweet

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As we approach the end of March, we are getting closer to when my due date would have been had I not miscarried last July. My best friend, Beth, was due only 10 days before me, and her precious little guy was born last week. I had 3 other friends who were due all around the same time as me, and one other had her baby last night; the other two are still waiting.

It makes me sad. Out of all my miscarriages, I think this one was the hardest for me emotionally. To think of the “what ifs” – I would be in the final stages of my pregnancy, pulling last-minute things together. My little one would have been just weeks or possibly days apart from Beth’s – something that would have been so special for both of us, I think. I don’t spend much time dwelling on these thoughts, but this month I’ve been thinking about it more and more.

It makes me a little sad.

Of course, those thoughts are bittersweet. If that baby had made it, then the little one I am carrying right now would not be here. And I also think about how if I had not lost that baby last July, and then the next one last September, then I would never have gotten blood tests run to see if there was a reason for the miscarriages. And I wouldn’t know about the Factor V Leiden or the MTHFR. And if I was not on the extra vitamins and blood thinners, then my risk of stillbirth would be much greater. Right now, with the precautions we’re taking, the risk is the same as a women without these risk factors, which relieves me greatly.

To be honest, I would much rather have lost the baby at 6 weeks than at 36 weeks. :-( Neither is easy, but I am so grateful that I have been able to approach this pregnancy with the knowledge I have.

So, this month has been a little bittersweet for me. Sorrow at what was lost. Hope for the future. Knowledge that I am in a better place than I was 9 months ago, as hard as it was, as far as pregnancy is concerned. (I hope that makes sense?)

I miss breathing

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I keep starting posts and then deleting them. I don’t want to be complainy, but I’m in a complainy mood. I’m really quite a baby when it comes to being sick, and colds are the worst because they seem like they should be no big deal when in fact they just completely knock me out. This is coming after dealing with multiple migraines a week for 6 weeks, and 11/12 weeks of morning sickness (overlapping a little with the migraines). I’m just tired of not feeling good. :-(

I woke up Monday morning with a sore throat, and it quickly got worse. The past 5 days I have been battling sore throat, runny nose, sinus pressure, and on one day a bad sinus headache. All that fun stuff. I have been exhausted, trying to keep up with a toddler and not having the energy nor patience. And of course this week was a big week for elections, so Paul has been crazy busy and coming home to a sick wife and bored toddler is not very relaxing after a stressful day at work!

So yeah. I don’t really have anything to say except that I don’t feel good. I miss breathing. :-( It seems my cold is now moving into my chest so I guess it’s not on its way out anytime soon.

I’ll get over it. And a year from now I’ll get another cold and think “wow when I had only ONE kid it was so much easier!!”. And so on and so forth. I’m really just a complainer.