some big news, a.k.a. what is going on with me

I haven’t been talking very openly about some of my struggles the past year, but now I think it is time. I’ve confided in some of my close friends, but I’ve been trying to get the courage to write about it here, on my public blog.

A little background first. As many of you remember, I had a miscarriage 3 years ago, before we got pregnant with Savannah. Miscarriages are not uncommon, and many times there is no explanation for why the baby is lost. We wanted our kids to be around 2 years apart, so we started trying again after Savannah’s first birthday. Here we are, over a year later, and still no baby.

The truth is I *HAVE* been pregnant and have miscarried during this past year – multiple times. All total, I’ve had 4 miscarriages (including the first one, 3 years ago). They have all been under 7 weeks gestation. I think the hardest one was in July because I was the farthest along and my best friend got pregnant at the same time as me – we would have been due 10 days apart! Multiple miscarriages have done a number on me emotionally. It hasn’t helped that I can’t get away from the pregnancy and birth announcements, at church and among my group of mom friends. I will probably write a separate blog post about that, as I think it would make this one too long, and I still have more to say.

After the 3rd miscarriage, my wonderful midwife highly recommended I get some bloodwork done. Last week, the results came back with two diagnoses.

One of them was that I have Factor V Leiden (FVL), which is a genetic blood clotting disorder. It has implications outside of pregnancy (blood clots, strokes, deep vein thrombosis, pulmonary embolisms), but with pregnancy it’s led to stillbirths and miscarriages.

I also am homozygous for the Methylenetetrahydrofolate reductase (MTHFR) C677T gene mutation. “Homozygous” means I have 2 copies of the mutation – as in, I got it from both sides of my family. Mutations in the MTHFR enzyme inhibit the body’s ability to absorb B folates, specifically folic acid. It’s a blood based disease, so it also has risk associations of strokes and blood clots.

I have an appointment with a hematologist on December 6th, and I hope to have a lot of my questions answered. Until then, we are going to hold off trying to get pregnant until we more fully understand the risks associated. My biggest fear right now is another loss – specifically a late term loss.

Here is what I’ve found out so far, from my midwife, perinatologist, and from internet research:
- FVL means I will need to be on anticoagulants throughout the duration of my pregnancies. These blood thinners are typically in the form of a daily shot that I will have to give myself. I am supposed to call the peri as soon as I get the positive pregnancy test and this will continue until I go into labor, when they will switch me to a different anticoagulant for the first six weeks.
- MTHFR means I will need a high dose of folic acid and perhaps some other vitamins. I have been taking folic acid this whole time (regular prenatals make my tummy sick), so I will have to up the amount I’m taking.
- I will be considered high risk for my pregnancy. Apparently, this means increased prenatal visits and having to pay a lot of attention to the baby in the third trimester especially to watch for potential red flags. Kick counts, etc.
- High risk also means it is likely in my best interests to deliver in a hospital. For those who know me and my current passion for the birth center, I have been really grieving about this.
- I can’t ever take hormonal birth control. Fortunately, this won’t change anything as I have never taken it nor do I have any plans to. I am so, so grateful of the convictions that God gave me back before I got married – they could have saved my life.

I have so many other questions to ask the hematologist. How do FVL and MTHFR affect each other? What else do I need to do to have a healthy pregnancy and bring a baby to term? How many kids will I be able to have? What are the chances of another loss – is it worth even trying again? Should I recommend others in my family (including Savannah) get tested? Are there diet and lifestyle changes that will improve my chances of not only a healthy baby, but just a healthy life for me specific with these blood disorders? Do I have to be careful with medications? Are my migraines related to this at all? Do I need to wear a medical ID bracelet?

This has all been overwhelming to me. Ever since my midwife called me with the news, I have been really scared about what this means for me and for my future. It feels weird knowing that I could die of a stroke at 28 years old. I know, I’m taking worst case scenario right now. You just think that if you die young, it’s going to be a car accident or something, you know? From what I’m learning, knowledge is everything. They have only really started studying these in the past decade or so. With the knowledge of both FVL and MTHFR, we can be on the watch of potential strokes and blood clots.

I would really covet your prayers right now. For us, as we make the decision after the hematologist’s appointment about whether we should continue our family. If we decide not to, for peace for me about that decision. If we decide to go ahead, then prayers that God would spare us from any more heartache. That He would give us a problem-free pregnancy and delivery. And that He would give me peace about not being able to have the intervention-free delivery like I had with Savannah.


Greek Chicken & Pasta

I enjoyed this super easy recipe from e-mealz, and thought I’d share. :-)

Greek Chicken & Pasta
1 lb boneless/skinless chicken breasts
9 oz bag fresh spinach
6 oz sliced mushrooms
2 Roma tomatoes, sliced
4 oz feta cheese
2/3 c balsamic vinaigrette salad dressing
3 c cooked fettuccine pasta

Greek Chicken & Pasta

Cut chicken breasts into tenders. Layer spinach, chicken, mushrooms, tomatoes, feta in sprayed 9×13 baking dish. Pour vinaigrette over ingredients; bake 30 minutes at 350 uncovered. Serve on top of pasta.

Suggested side: green beans seasoned with Greek seasoning and butter.

Greek Chicken & Pasta

It was really good and super easy. I like recipes like that. :-)

(Top picture is before cooking, bottom picture is before eating! Sorry they’re so dark… There is no where to put food in the kitchen where I’m not standing in front of the light to take a picture!!)


trying habithacker again

My house is a wreck.

I’m getting frustrated with myself and my inability to keep my house decently cleaned up. (Mostly, it’s laziness on my own part.) So, I am trying habithacker again. Looks like this might be a seasonal thing, as I blogged about the same thing a year ago! And as I read through the old post, I realize that not much has changed in a year. Sigh.

Though I am excited that the website habithacker has made some changes and you can now sign up for daily emails. I think that will work better for me to have that sitting in my inbox.

So we’ll see how this goes. I cleaned my sink today – baby steps! Of course, I sat around lazily until 7pm when I finally did the dishes, but oh well. At least I did them.


Atlanta Greek Festival

We love the annual Atlanta Greek Festival. This year was Savannah’s 3rd Greek festival.

She was only 7-ish weeks at her first one:
Hanging out at the Atlanta Greek Festival

A little over a year at her next one:
Greek festival

Inside the Greek Orthodox church

And this year, we got Savannah a belly dancing skirt. She really enjoyed running around with it, and pretty much everyone we passed commented on how cute she was. Maybe next year she’ll be up for the face painting. :-)
Atlanta Greek Festival

I asked Paul to distract her while I ducked into a few of the shops with breakables. When I came out, they were ordering dinner. I snapped this picture – I love Daddy/daughter pictures. :-)
Atlanta Greek Festival

I enjoy our annual tradition, and it always makes me want to go visit Greece! Someday, someday.


throwing a Cookie Monster 2nd birthday party

In my blogging absence, I completely missed Savannah 2nd birthday! I mean, I missed writing about it – we certainly acknowledged it in real life! :-) I was busy preparing for it in my blogging silence before her birthday, and afterwards I actually got really sick and ended up laying on the couch for three days straight. I even wrote her a 2 year old letter and didn’t get a chance to post because getting to the computer those days was just not happening. Anyways.

Savannah’s party came together very, very last minute. I spent way too long deliberating about where to have it – last year, we were outside at a park near our house. It was fun but also hot. Late August in Atlanta is unpredictable – it will surely be warm, but will the humidity be stifling or will it be okay in the shade? I inquired about having it at our church, but my emails were never returned and I was frustrated (and also dealing with some unrelated stuff at the time, and my mind was about burnt out!). Then 7 days before Savannah’s party, I was talking about it with a friend and she suggested using the clubhouse at her condo complex. Score! It ended up being PERFECT. I was SO grateful to her for helping me out.

I never actually sent out invitations since I didn’t even have a location confirmed until 4 days before the party. So it was all word of mouth and though not many came, I think it ended up being perfect (especially since we are a family of 3 introverts!).

As I said, we chose a Cookie Monster theme. It was fairly easy – I brought Savannah’s Cookie Monster doll with me to the store and looked for blue things (since it’s impossible to get Cookie Monster-only paraphernalia – Elmo and Abby Cadabby are all the rage right now!). I enjoyed playing with the possibilities of a blue party. Hobby Lobby, Party City, and Target became my best friends, and I think the decorations were fabulous.

Lots of delicious food

Here was the main table. The food wasn’t themed – just various snacks, enough to be a complete lunch but still able to eat without being at a table. I made sure to get some blueberries as a nod to our blue theme! I printed off my favorite 8 pictures from Savannah’s past two years, and displayed them around the room. I also bought 3 small Cookie Monster dolls to use as decorations and later as favors for the three children who attended.

Pitcher of cookies, cups, and blue drinks

Blue themed drinks! I found blue Mountain Dew for the soda lovers and blue gatorade for the sports drink lovers. In retrospect, I wish I had removed the labels to make it slightly more classy. I used my glass pitcher and poured Cookie Crisp cereal in it for decoration – I was thrilled with how that turned out!

Water for those who don't like blue drinks

Next to the drink table was a shorter table with water bottles in ice. I meticulously removed all the labels from the water bottles, and was pleased with the look.

Cookie Monster photo op chair

We also had a Cookie Monster photo op chair. I got a picture of each of our guests in the chair with Cookie Monster and wearing the feather boa. I will say, I am definitely going to repeat this – it was great to have on camera each person who came! Sometimes candid shots don’t get great pictures of everyone, so some posed shots are nice to have. Also, including the doll and the feather boa made people feel more relaxed and silly about the whole thing.

Mommy, Daddy, and the birthday girl

Here is our family at the party – what a fun picture!

Fun gifts!

Gift table. I got the basket because it was the perfect blue, and in the end couldn’t find a good place for it, so I stuck it here.

The kiddie table

We borrowed a picnic table for the kiddie table, and it worked out great. We had three kids, and I had favors for each of them: a blue beaded necklace, Sesame Street coloring book, crayons, and Cookie Monster activity cards. (They each took home a small Cookie Monster doll, too.) These kept them entertained while we waited for the food and guests to arrive.

Party time!

The whole room, with the streamers and balloons. We blew up a bunch of balloons, and ended up just leaving them loose around the room because we couldn’t get them to attach very well to the walls. That was a big hit!!

Playing with balloons

You can see in that last picture Savannah’s outfit – a Cookie Monster onesie with a pink skirt and sparkly silver shoes. She looked adorable! She also had a fancy blue bracelet that you can see in other pictures.

Cookie Monster cupcakes!

My favorite – these were the cupcakes I made (instead of a cake). They were surprisingly easy, and I had a lot of fun. There were several left over that Paul took to work, and I was told that pictures were taken by his coworkers and submitted to an iReport. :-) I served each cupcake with some ice cream topped with Cookie Crisp cereal, which was a big hit and a fun continuation of the theme.

Happy Birthday Cookie Monster cupcake

Blowing out her candle

We all enjoyed eating and socializing, and then it was present time. I’m happy to report that this year, Savannah did not have a meltdown and have to leave in the middle of her party. In fact, she was totally living it all up!

What's in the bag?

Fun family picture.

Savannah tried to give her presents away

Savannah handed her gifts back to the person who gave them to her. I think she was a little confused. ;-)

Giving away presents

When she opened the present from my mom (“Grandma!”), she handed it to the person in the room who most looked like my mom, which I thought was really cute!

Presents

Savannah teases Maddie

She’s silly!

Group effort

By the end, all the toddlers were helping her unwrap!

Changing Baby's diaper

She loved her new baby doll and the diapers I made for the baby.

Have a Cookie Monster!

Happy birthday, Savannah! You can see all the pictures here, mostly taken by my brother-in-law, Tim. Here’s a birthday party tip: hand someone else your camera! I got much better pictures than if I had tried to host and photograph at the same time. He did a great job!