Monthly Archives: May 2009

May 7 2009

my computer's haunted

So recently my computer’s started doing weird things.

First, a long time ago, Firefox started messing up by displaying everything small. I could see that Firefox was displaying it right and then resizing it. It was really annoying, until Paul did something to force it to display bigger all the time. I know Firefox still thinks it should be small though. As pages load, I can see the text and images get small and then big again.

Then, a couple of days ago, Firefox suddenly started doing something that really annoyed me. It has decided to clear all the cookies every time I close the browser. So that means every time I get on the computer to check email, Twitter, Facebook, Google Reader, etc. I have to retype my username and password. It’s getting really annoying, because I purposefully keep Firefox closed when I’m not actively using it due to it getting slow and clunky when I don’t. I checked the settings and nothing has changed – there isn’t anything telling it to clear that info. I am getting fed up with it.

In addition to Firefox being annoying, my mouse has started being annoying too. It’s being either unresponsive or TOO responsive to clicks. It moves just fine, but when I click on something, it either doesn’t register or does a double click. How many times have I opened a stupid photoshop file just because I was trying to select the file? Or have it delete two emails instead of just one? Or scroll through two pictures instead of going to the next one? Checkboxes online are the worst. I sit there clicking on it until my mouse decides to just check the stupid thing once, instead of check-unchecking with one click. Grr!

It’s not just the clicking… it also makes it really difficult to select text. I’m big on selecting text. It skips around words, and it’s so difficult to select an entire sentence or paragraph. And this just isn’t in Firefox… it’s consistently problematic with every program I use. Selecting and dragging is also bad; it releases the click before I’ve told it to, causing files to go into the wrong folders and then I have to hunt for them… I told Paul that it’s a good thing InDesign doesn’t work on this computer, because I could *never* design with a mouse so faulty. I am a VERY heavy mouse user. I am a graphic designer after all. :-)

Speaking of InDesign not working, that’s a Vista issue. Have I mentioned I dislike Vista a great deal? I’m tired of Windows Explorer crashing all the time, I’m tired of it taking 30 minutes to transfer pictures from my camera card, of only being able to transfer 15 pictures at a time because otherwise it crashes and I have to start over again. Anyone else has issues with Vista? (The InDesign thing isn’t Vista’s fault… The version I have is really old, and was made before Vista was around. It’s just really annoying that because of Vista I have to buy the software again – $1800, yikes!)

Anyways, I’m really just ranting here. I could reinstall Firefox and perhaps the mouse drivers, but Paul suggested that we go ahead and reinstall Windows, and maybe even see if we can put XP on the computer. We bought the computer new in February 2008 so it’s about time, right? So now I have to back up all my information and write down all the programs I use, yuck. I do like starting over with a clean slate though!

By the way, anyone have experience backing up a computer with iTunes? I don’t want to have to reimport all my CDs into iTunes, and I know they’re picky about copyrights and music. I know one time I tried to put my music onto my computer at work from my iPod, but iTunes wouldn’t let me, saying I could only have my music in two places (iTunes on my desktop and on my iPod). If I just find the folder that iTunes keeps the music and burn that to a disc, would that be enough? Or is iTunes going to give me crap and complain about piracy and cause me to want to sell my iPod and never own another Apple product again?

May 4 2009

job changes ahead

Early last year, I got a new job working in my field of graphic design. It’s been a good job, one that I’ve enjoyed for the most part, and I’ve met some really great people. I had a bit of a breakdown last summer where we were understaffed and I made the decision to leave, thinking that would help my stress levels. Those two months did help, but when my boss approached me again and offered me part-time, I decided to take him up on it. Since January, I have been working three days a week which has been perfect. Paul and I are now able to have the same days off, and I also have a day to volunteer at a local cat shelter. It was very difficult during my first trimester to keep focused on work, but once I got past that it’s been good.

I have always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, and Paul and I have purposefully planned our finances to allow for that to happen if/when it did. I am blessed that Paul has a stable job where we can cover all our expenses on just his income. I am also blessed that these past 16 months of working have allowed us to pay off our car and all but 2 loans (down from the 7 loans we started with when we got married!), as well as put a good amount of money in our savings. When we found out we were expecting a baby at the end of August, we started talking about when I should quit and transfer my attention to being a stay-at-home mom. I was afraid of quitting too early and being bored, and also I was afraid of the opposite and not giving myself a chance to rest in my last months. We decided sometime in June would be a good time.

A few weeks ago, my boss told me about a huge upcoming project that we’re expecting to hit starting June 1st. They’re actually hiring two more designers – bringing the total to 8 – for the summer to help with this project. This made me reconsider my plans, and also I knew I had to talk to my boss about my intentions.

I decided it would be better to leave before the project hit. I have worked on similar projects, and I know that they can be extremely stressful. I also know that us being really busy could make it difficult for me to take time off if I needed it, like for doctor’s appointments and for genuine tiredness that comes with later pregnancy. I talked to my boss, and she agreed. We made plans for me to leave at the end of May, which was just before we head up to Indiana for the Gerig reunion so it all works out well.

Meanwhile, my supervisor has been interviewing for the three positions (two new ones, and one replacing me), and as of last Friday she had finalized her decisions and the new hirees had accepted the offers. The only downside was… She wanted two weeks for training before the project hits on June 1st. It makes sense; the work will be confusing to a newcomer, and it’s important that everyone is on the same page before jumping into a big project like this one. However, she needs my desk and my computer for my replacement. So… it all works out best for my last day to be May 15th.

Wow! I must admit I was sad to leave sooner than expected. I have (for the most part) enjoyed working there, and I have really enjoyed the people I have gotten to know. But, I know it’s all in God’s timing and I am looking forward to the new job He has in store for me, the job of being a mommy.

I’ll spend the summer getting ready for the baby, trying to stay cool, and doing other tasks that come up. On the top of my to-do list is “figure out housing for the fall”. :-) We are looking at houses to buy, but if that falls through then we’ll weigh the pros-cons of moving to a bigger rental place. (Believe it or not, I’m tired of moving! But I’m also feeling cramped in the one-bedroom, so hence the struggle.) I also have a couple of trips planned this summer (Indiana, New England, Birmingham), and I’m helping a friend out by photographing her wedding at the end of June, so I probably should learn something about photography by then. ;-) And, of course, there’s the cat shelter which I enjoy and will keep working as long as I feel up to the task. So, hopefully a busy summer but with lots of chances to rest and relax!

May 2 2009

part two: thoughts on weight loss

This is part two, so read this post first. I wrote this post today, whereas the other post was written 8 months ago. :-) It took me so long to write this because believe it or not it’s been a hard topic for me to talk about. I think it’s good to talk about though because so many people struggle with this same thing.

—————
About a year ago, Paul took a picture of me that later, when I saw it, made me ashamed. I was wearing a shirt that was too small and had horizontal stripes, and instead of the normally trim girl I have always been, I looked like a fat blob.

It was what I needed. Paul wanted me to lose weight, I could tell, and I thought it was only fair to him to have a healthy, in-shape wife. I tried a couple of things until I found something that was really, really good for me. I found a Weight Watchers group and went every week. I lost almost 20 lbs in about 5 months and only quit because I got pregnant.

I was ashamed to talk about Weight Watchers. For one thing, I can hide my weight pretty well because it tended to all be in my stomach and waist. People who knew me were shocked when I told them how much I actually weighed. (And, none of it was muscle… it was all flabby fat.) I was ashamed to need to be on a diet. I never realized how almost all of my friends are nice and trim… They do things right, eat right, and their biggest trouble is keeping weight on. And of course, there are lots of opinions out there on the best way to lose weight and what is “healthy”, and people are happy to share that with you, and some of the most hurtful comments I got were from these people.

But, here I am, talking about it now. I think it’s important because I learned one thing through this experience that I never realized before:

It is hard to lose weight.

I want you to remember that because you might be like I was, and critical of people who are overweight. Watch them grab another Coke and point your nose up in disgust and say “Well their weight is their own doing.” It might be true. But that doesn’t make it easy. Habits are hard to break, and it’s probably something that will be a lifetime struggle. Gosh, I only got a small taste of it, but enough of an experience that I will try to never judge someone because of their weight. That doesn’t mean I don’t think people should try to lose weight… Just know how hard it is to get there.

I tried Weight Watchers and I would do it again – it was definitely worth the money. First, we had weekly meetings. Our leader would talk about how to overcome struggles, how to deal with things like holidays that revolved around food, how to motivate yourself, and all sorts of good things that were applicable. I appreciated the positive-reinforcement they practiced. They celebrated victories, even small ones! And Weight Watchers has lots of little goals; your first 5 lbs, your first 10 lbs, 10% of your starting weight, etc. They celebrate each one which helped me tremendously.

We weighed-in privately at the beginning of each meeting. That was incredibly valuable for me. I don’t own a scale, and so I relied on those weigh-ins to track my progress. The computer would calculate how you did… even if you lost 0.2 lbs the person who weighed me in would congratulate me! Every little bit is an achievement. I needed that.

I did the points system of keeping my eating in check. That definitely worked for me. They calculate the points by taking the calories, the fat, and the fiber of each food. You were allotted a certain about of points each day that related directly to your weight (so you gradually decreased your points as you lost weight), and “bonus points” for the week to help cover any “oops” moments. While figuring out points all the time was a pain in the neck, it also made me more aware of what I was eating. It also helped me to realize I could have one cookie instead of two and that was okay. I think my favorite part was the flexibility to go to a friend’s house and have pizza without feeling guilty, and just adjust the next few days to account for that. And I started thinking about food in the way of, “Is this worth the points?” Some foods just aren’t worth it to me, so it was easier to turn them down. At the end of the week, if I had extra points, I’d reward myself with a Frosty or something fun. Being able to still enjoy those treats really helped me be better about what I was doing the rest of the time.

One criticism I’ve heard is that just taking in fat and calories doesn’t make a healthy diet. That’s true. Diet Coke is 0 points, but I’m sure it’s not really that much healthier than regular Coke! But that’s when you use the brain God gave you and work within the system to eat the right foods. Ultimately you want to get to a point where your normal diet allows you to stay within a good, healthy weight. Water is the best drink out there, so focus on drinking 0 point water and save the Diet Coke for a special occasion! (Or regular Coke, which is 2 points, because I can’t stand the taste of Diet Coke or Coke Zero.) And of course, it’s not just about the pounds you weigh but also overall health; it’s just much easier to track pounds.

I think that my ideal, healthy weight is probably 40 pounds less than when I started, which means I have some more to go. But, I know it’s a bad idea to diet while you’re pregnant so I’m going to hold off on trying to lose it until after the baby comes. I am worried about trying to get the baby weight off PLUS the extra 20 lbs I need to lose on top of that. I am slightly higher than I was when I got pregnant, but all the weight I lost my first trimester is helping with that! :-) I would definitely do Weight Watchers again if I have the money, and recommend it for others who are motivated by the same things as me. I think the single best thing for me was having a weekly support group.

That’s my experience, and I thank you for letting me share that. Losing weight is not an easy road, so please keep that in mind next time you want to offer helpful comments to someone. Some of the most well-intended comments to me have also been the most hurtful, and most often by someone who hasn’t been there.

May 2 2009

surprising pictures

I wrote this post last August, intending to follow it up with a post on weight loss. I have finally sat down to write that follow-up post, so I thought I’d go ahead and publish this. :-) Obviously a lot has changed, since I am now pregnant and not as focused on weight loss as I was last summer. I’ll set part 2 to auto-post tomorrow so you can be watching for that!

———————
I used to always be thin, until I graduated from college. When I lived in Peru, we ate fairly healthy, mostly because (1) processed foods were hard to come by so everything had to be made from scratch, (2) someone else was doing the cooking, (3) we didn’t have access to the plethora of fast food restaurants, and (4) I did a lot of walking since it was a walking-friendly city and my family of 5 had only one car. Then I went to college where (1) I always ate at the dining commons since it was already paid for, (2) someone else was cooking, (3) I didn’t have enough money to eat out or snack on junk food, and (4) I didn’t have a car (until the end) so I had to walk everywhere.

I graduated from college and in 3 1/2 years I’ve gained about 50 pounds. Yikes! I’m actually a lot heavier than I look – most of my weight is in my stomach, so if I can manage to hide that then I don’t look as heavy. But to get back to a healthy weight (which is different than being skinny – I’m more concern with healthiness) I need to lose about 30 pounds.

I realized I couldn’t do it on my own. So I went on a diet (more about that later) and it’s been really good for me. I’ve lost 11 pounds so far of the 30, and already I’ve had a lot of people notice. I want to get down to a healthy weight so I can’t let myself get lax. I can be more strict, and add more exercise, but it’s really helped just to cut down or out French fries and Coke. I’m drinking a lot more water, watching nutrition labels, and trying to find healthy snack foods (like baby carrots and natural popcorn) for when I get the munchies.

Here is photographic evidence:

Me
This was taken in April of 2007. I figure this was probably my heaviest.

Posing
This was taken in May of 2008. Since I don’t have a scale I have no idea how much weight I lost from the previous year, but this was about the time I started on my diet.

I was looking at the pictures Beth@TheNaturalMommy took from the Gerig Reunion, and was surprised to see this picture of me (sorry Beth, I stole it from your Picasa so it would be in the same format as my other pictures!):
Me
I still have a bit of weight to lose in my face, but I was excited about how much my stomach had gone down! I still have a ways to go before I get to a place where I feel healthy, but I’m excited to be this far already.

I think I needed this affirmation right now. It helps me, especially on stressful days where I go spend $2 getting chocolate from the vending machine.

I plan to write a post later about my thoughts regarding food and dieting. Stay tuned. :-)